My New Friend & I Got Dickheaded by Friday 13th

 Let me tell you about some bad luck that crossed my new old friend's path last Friday (Friday fucking 13th that is) - and then decided to cross mine. I think some heedlessness managed to creep along our paths too, somewhere down the line, for when my old new friend spoke to me of his misfortune, neither of us established that it was Friday 13th fucking him about. But then I am not usually drawn to superstition.  Here's what happened....

I made my way to the offices in London Bridge where I was to have my interview for an editorial internship. I was extremely early however so I thought I'd sit in the park opposite and then return. Finding a park bench, I was content with the sun shining and my nose in a novel until an old-ish man comes shuffling about me noisily in the grass as if desperate to make his presence known. I was mildly irritated by his proximity but glad when he soon disappeared abruptly into some bushes close by, searching in the grass as he went. But five minutes later he returned with an I-don't-know-what-the-fuck-is-happening look slapped all over his face while I glanced at him over the page. His attire told me he was an outdoor cleaner or similar. His demeanour and my stereotypist ways told me he was a John. Or Charles. But we'll stick to John. Either way, I fear my glance may have misconveyed an interest in his life story.

"Oh God, I tell you love. I'm sorry. You know you wouldn't believe a horrible thing has happened to me today." he broke out, half directed at me, half at the bin next to me.

"What's that then?" I replied, politely (I think). He looked a bit pitiful and seemed nice enough for me to spare my obnoxious, untrusting voice.

"It's me wallet. I dunno where it's got to. It had twenty pounds. Can you believe? Some lucky bugger's got my twenty pounds. And my oyster card too. I'd just topped it up.

"Oh no." I said.

"And look at me pocket! It's so secure, it's got a button. So how did it happen?"

He just glared at me. Did he want me to console him? Was he half expecting me to produce a new wallet for him? "That's terrible. I'm sorry."

"You know what love. I am absolutely fuming right now. I am going fucking crazy, pardon my french". I wasn't so sure he was using the right words. He looked relatively calm, almost insouciant. "I gotta walk all the way  home to Brixton by foot. I can't be doing that. D'you know what?" I didn't know what. "I'm not even gonna work anymore for the rest of the day, no way. D'you mind if I sit down next to you love? Would you mind lending me a pen?"

I passed John a pen. He was overly grateful. But he didn't do anything with it.
"It happens", I tried to comfort him. "Did you have any cards with your name on it in the wallet? Maybe someone nice handed it in. Or do you not have any money on you to buy a new Oyster card?".

 He shook his head. We were silent for ages.

"And you know what love? I wouldn't even ask you for any. I'm not that kind of person. I will walk home and not take any money from anyone!"

Shit, I thought, I didn't even offer to lend him money. 

But then again, I'm sitting here waiting for an interview with a company that does not even want to reimburse my travel expenses, letalone pay  minimum wage. Also, I'm a poor gap year student with meagre funds in my account and about £1.50 in my bag. I also need to buy beer later.

Nevertheless I said, "I'm sorry, how inconsiderate of me. Please let me lend you some money to get home."

He was proud, I'll give him that, with his £20 and topped-up Oyster. "No ta, that's very kind but I'm not going to take it."


Yippeeee. Beer.


Eventually we parted ways, me and John. He wished me luck on my internship interview, I wished him luck on his 4-mile walk in the sweltering heat. Think it pissed him off.

As for my bad luck, the interviewer was a no show. The office was totally empty and I called her at ten to ask about it. Apparently she left me a message and she emailed me saying there was no Friday interview and that I should have come in on Tuesday instead. She almost sounded amused at the fact that I had made the trip to her office fro nothing. I assured her I did not get her messages but checked as soon as I got home anyway, because I do have the tendency to be a numpty on these matters.

Phone messages - 0
Email inbox - 0
Lying CEO with shite telephone manner and unwillingness to reimburse interns - 1

Just to be clear, Friday 13th is said to be unlucky because it was the day Judas betrayed Jesus. And he was the thirteenth disciple.
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 1. Why do I always encounter old, mysterious, gregarious men?
2. Why do these encounters always somehow allude to Christ's apostles and Judas? (See this previous post if you don't know what I mean)

Thanks for reading!