Monday, 2 May 2011

What's a Judas Chain?

I work (once a week) at a hospital cafe near to where I live. So I was working there last week and quickly had to nip to the ladies. While reluctantly trudging back to the till and the Twixes and the coffee and the non-existent queue of cross customers, I was stopped by a man in his 40s having something to do with maintenance. He looked both curious and horrified as he stared in my direction; all the while I wondered what I had done to upset the man so.

"What are you wearing around your neck?" he burst out.

"Oh, this?" I replied, touching the pendant I wore. It was a well-crafted little horse I had brought from ASOS, hanging from the end of a long, black chain. I was confused - was my choice of accessory a fashion faux pas in his eyes?

"But what is it? Is it...is it a-"

"It's just a horse." I showed it to him.

"Oh." I didn't think this possible, but he managed to display both relief and disappointment simultaneously. "I thought you were wearing a Judas Chain."(I don't know why I feel the strong need to capitalise this thing, I just do)

"No no. Just a horse."

"Because it was just swinging away while you were walking and I thought, well that looks like a Judas Chain!"

"Oh. It's not." I tried to smile politely to tell him to fuck off.

Moments later, while safely stationed back behind the till and with Mr. Maintenance out of sight, I turned to my colleague.

"Christine, what's a Judas Chain? Have you ever heard of it?"

"A what?" she asked. She is a Christian and I knew nothing more than that Judas was a biblical figure.

"A Judas Chain. That man just asked me, in a very funny way, if I was wearing a Judas Chain."

She laughed. "I have no idea. But I tell you what, I wouldn't take notice of that man if I were you. He's a bit of strange one and I don't personally get on with him."

Good, I thought. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks that.

This week, I had just finished work and made my way outside and realised that my shoelaces were undone. Fucking hate it when that happens. I kneeled to tie them up.

"You're laces have come undone, love!" I heard someone heartily warn. I turned left to see Mr. Maintenance standing with another maintenance cronie who, more often than not, I see being reprimanded by Mr. Maintenance about a spillage or for leaving a door open. They were drawing on their cigarettes, standing close together.

Yes thanks for the ten-minute late warning, Mr Knobhead, is what I thought. What did he think I was doing at that precise moment if not tying my laces? Genuflecting to Judas?

"Yes I know. Thank you." I called back. They giggled like a pair of silly school boys, as though they had succeeded in some sort of practical joke.
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So that's all I've got. What an exciting life I do lead! I have some questions:

1. What is a Judas Chain?
2. What do 40-somethings find funny about a 19 year-old with laces undone?
3. What am I doing working as a voluntary cafe assistant at a local "hospital" that really offers nothing more than blood tests?

Thank you for reading!

1 comment:

  1. Damn I was going to ask you what a Judas chain is.
    well I like your blog its a bit like mine except I'm older and more gobby.

    ReplyDelete

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