Gwyneth Paltrow Must be Exorcised of Justin Bieber

I don't care much for Glee. The Glee Club annoy me and they ruin most of the songs covered. The shrill singing of the girl with the fringe and the nose gives me an alarming bollock-ache and, as a female, I don't actually know how that happens. I have come to the conclusion that Glee has the potency to make me sprout a pair just for the sake of feeling them in pain. Involuntarily, I happened to be watching the other day and fucking hell - how much does Gwyneth Paltrow sound like Justin Bieber? He must be inside her (no, not like that!). What else could have possesed her to sing Cee-Lo Green and prance around and sound uncanilly like that little teenage queen?

Man alive!

No I will NOT Hold Out My Hand, Mr Smith...but You May Carry Me!

Help. It's Tom Smith of The Editors making my skin crawl everytime I listen to their song Spiders. And not even because I fear spiders. It's his cringeworthy manner of uttering the line "hold out your hand". Just give the pre-chorus a listen and tell me I'm not alone. Tell me you suffered the same level of distress.

Do you think he's attempting a Russian accent? The 'hold' and the 'hand' are of particular annoyance. And Russia's a long way from Birmingham city. Ah well, at least Spiders isn't one of the better songs in Editors' album An End Has A Start so Tom didn't do too much damage. He's lucky he's hot.

Oh lord. I have too much time on my hands. Oh. Hand. Hold out your hand.