HOLD IT RIGHT THERE

Not kidding. Life. Get. One. Now.

Please do not mind the insane, death wish-type lettering above! It is just a threatening self-reminder that I, as the unbeatable master of procrastination and idolatry, have things that need to get done. So whenever I casually sign in to my blog with the lazy intention of publishing yet another menial, self-satisfying post, I am reminded of the fatal consequence. 

Indeed. These are the radical means I have had to resort to in a bid to stop the complacency. Life is just a chronological string of deadlines one must meet in order to taste some struggle and live sanely.

In other words, please...

• Get a fucking proper job before uni. One that is not voluntary, unpaid and/or promising "other great benefits!"
• Update your iPod. There is no healthy justification for playing, to this day, the We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank 2004 LP on loop
• Work on your lack of confidence and stop hiding behind laptop screens. What's more, if you must hide behind a laptop screen, at least hide behind one that YOU own

Of course I know that the second first goal is of more immediate importance than the others.

I am shit at being timely. Wait a minute. Surely...this must mean I am timely at being shit.