London Riots are a Sick, Twisted Joke

Third World countries resist (at best) for food and basic human rights. The youth of London riot because they feel they deserve Nike trainers and the latest PS3 game. I actually feel pretty ashamed to be a Londoner right now. We're fortunate to even have the right to campaign, and now that we've finally excercised that liberty to degree that our voices can be heard by decision-makers, what the fuck can we say for ourselves? How do we justify incending vehicles and shops, and scaring innocent bystanders? No offence but the shooting of one individual cannot account for endangering the lives of countless others. It's ridiculous because it doesn't go deeper than a corybantic frenzy of crime and perilous childplay. I'll wager if you ask any rioter at random what they want to achieve from their act, a large question mark would form over their head. Oh, and then they'll set fire to your car.

And to think we're playing host to the prestigious Olympics next year? Nice going!

Blame the Muslims Trends on Twitter

@Strange_Sanum has initiated a trend on twitter - #blamethemuslims. Oh it's okay though, it's all in the name of stamping out racism. It's an attempt "to highlight how ridiculous it is to blame Muslims for every problem in the world."

Problem is, she's done more harm than good. She's annoyed folk more than she's amused. Looks a bit like an own goal and this particular act is now counter-revolutionary - failing in its intentions.

Ah well, it could be worse. At least it's not genuinely trending as a racist topic.

She who perpetrated the trend is a muslim herself. Does that assuage the contempt? No, not really. This is just a joke gone fucking horribly wrong. And the worst part is, nobody perceives that to stop it trending, they must STOP giving their two cents!

Kate Middleton's Other Eyes

One of the Evenings Standard paper's leading story's today was that the Duke & Duchess of Cambridge's close friend, Guy Pelly, would be suing over claims of his phone being hacked. Of all the Oxbridgey, mature, story-apt pictures they could have used of Pelly, they decided on one where he is staring - no ogling - at our Kate's rack. It's brilliant - it's like one of those photos someone doctored for kicks.

Will, 'av a word

I Reckon I'm on Twitter

I have betrayed myself. The dark side is too strong, resistance is futile.  For all previous talk of missing simpler times and telling you social networks are dehumanising, I've only gone and joined the universe's most expansive micro-blogging site. I haven't the slightest clue what #RT or #FF means but I intend to find out. Will someones please enlighten this wet-behind-the-ear twit?

Anyway I guess you know what's coming. Follow me? @Parisha7

I have only two followers. One of them I coerced.

Kate Middleton's Eyes

Why do Kate Middleton's pupils account for so much of her eyes. Seriously. She has barely any white in them. They are 95% brown/hazel/green/grey/blue and 5% whites. It's so...fucking hot actually.

See for yourself:

Kate Middleton preparing to use her laser vision on the God-awful paps.

Am I alone here? Seldom have I seen so much bright pupil constitute an eye. Perhaps it's just easier to spot because of the increased luminance of hers. Perhaps the manner in which her eyes are made up accentuates her pupils. Perhaps she domimates the pages of every publication I pick up to such nauseating extremes and that we might do well to give her a rest. Yes, that would be it. She's fit and everything but that needn't make her ubiquitous.

Besides, she is so fit that I'm getting green-eyed (not literally, unfortunately). She makes me want to unearth my dusty Crayola set and colour in my eyes with the multicoloured pen I never got to use.